Post by Leonardo on Aug 26, 2013 19:10:48 GMT -6
The Chronicle
Est. 1965
August 26th, 1965
Welcome to the first issue of the The Chronicle, sections submitted by dogs and cats extracting information from strays living throughout the borough. We update weekly, providing you updates, information, conspiracy theories, and keeping you in tune with the world of urban dogma. The Chronicle is literally the "word on the street."
Crime and Prejudice
Section provided by Charles "Chip" Caesar, Sr. Head Writer
Since this is our first issue, I am required to tell you a little bit about myself. My name is Charles Caesar, Sr. Most people just call me Chip. I was born in Bensonhurst in 1960, and have lived here ever since. I have traveled many miles investigating crime, and attempting to understand the deepest science of the criminal mind. What makes an animal defy it's natural state of neutrality in terms of morality, and actually become "good" or "bad"? Together, we shall work to answer this question, or die trying.
I suppose I could drag on about news. I could tell you some information and tell you that it was fresh. I could say it was recent. Perhaps I could weave some neoteric tale and gently offer it to your virgin ears. Indeed, I could call anything "news", but in all honesty, nothing is new. 1965 Brooklyn is still the most dangerous place for dogs and cats on earth. Period. If Charles Darwin were here to spew his evolutionary nonsense, our state would certainly be the metaphorical gasoline to his flame of fancy teachings. We are tough, yes. We are survivors, of course. But our enemy is none other than ourselves. And we cannot evolve against ourselves. So hence survival of the fittest. Murder rates have risen in all areas of Brooklyn since April amongst Dogs. While I know nothing of the cats (and perhaps for a good reason), I'm sure numbers cannot be good for them either. Bensonhurst is the bloodiest section so far. We are becoming more desperate. I fear as more and more of us cling to the raft of life, the bigger and badder dogs are finally realizing we can't all make it. And those are exactly the ones pulling the strings...telling the others to push the weak ones into the water, while the other passengers are oblivious.
Brooklyn Tails
Section submitted by Shep Diggs
Section submitted by Shep Diggs
This is my first section, so I suppose I can properly introduce myself. I'm Shepard Diggs, I cover conspiracy theories and rumors. I'm from Bedford-Stuyvesant and sometimes I may not always get a story in, but most of the time I do, and while I may not be as good as Chip Caesar (he's amazing, isn't he?) I promise I'll keep you entertained enough for you to read my entire article.
Big things happening in Bensonhurst. 3 weeks ago I played a game of cards with a young mobster. Cane the Spotted. He was a jerk, he was rude, and he was a pretty damn good poker player. After he had proceeded to take me for every dime, he told me something interesting. Something I'd never heard a young punk like him admit, and wouldn't expect it in a thousand years.
He said he was afraid.
At first I was like: No spit? We're all scared, right? I'm always scared. I'm allergic to hot dogs! And my favorite food is hot dogs! Not only that, but every time I step outside by myself, nobody knows me. But let me go out with my girlfriend, every broad in the borough knows my name. Can you imagine how scary that is? Anyway, he continued to explain that he had done some things, and he may regret them later. Of course, I'm thinking he's talking about some kind of STD he may have, so I just gave him a pat on the back, ate some food, and left. Weeks later, the kid's dead. Well he was a mobster. Maybe he got in trouble with another mobster? I wonder who--LEONARDO MANCINI. The man gave us a typical socialite answer, but when pried, the conference was cut short. Then a day later we find a dead reporter? Not to mention Cane's part of Bensonhurst has been occupied by those not loyal to him, but those with possible ties to Mancini. Did the others just vacate the area? I think not. But who gives a damn what I think? You've got the facts now, you've got the rumors; come up with your own theory.
Big things happening in Bensonhurst. 3 weeks ago I played a game of cards with a young mobster. Cane the Spotted. He was a jerk, he was rude, and he was a pretty damn good poker player. After he had proceeded to take me for every dime, he told me something interesting. Something I'd never heard a young punk like him admit, and wouldn't expect it in a thousand years.
He said he was afraid.
At first I was like: No spit? We're all scared, right? I'm always scared. I'm allergic to hot dogs! And my favorite food is hot dogs! Not only that, but every time I step outside by myself, nobody knows me. But let me go out with my girlfriend, every broad in the borough knows my name. Can you imagine how scary that is? Anyway, he continued to explain that he had done some things, and he may regret them later. Of course, I'm thinking he's talking about some kind of STD he may have, so I just gave him a pat on the back, ate some food, and left. Weeks later, the kid's dead. Well he was a mobster. Maybe he got in trouble with another mobster? I wonder who--LEONARDO MANCINI. The man gave us a typical socialite answer, but when pried, the conference was cut short. Then a day later we find a dead reporter? Not to mention Cane's part of Bensonhurst has been occupied by those not loyal to him, but those with possible ties to Mancini. Did the others just vacate the area? I think not. But who gives a damn what I think? You've got the facts now, you've got the rumors; come up with your own theory.
Doing Your Business
Section submitted by Millicent Caigle, Economist
I am Millie Caigle. I'm sure they say in this article that I am an economist, but truthfully I am just fascinated by business. Ever since 1957, I've been studying how and why strays integrate trade into their everyday lives. In my articles, we will explore the top earning industries in the world of strays, and who's who in the world of local business.
The meat business, of course, is the leading form of trade, especially in the form of underground smuggling. Mobsters are the number one source of entrepreneurs capitalizing on meat supply and demand. Competition is rough, and some clashes between ganglords may in fact have led to bloodshed. When asked about this, aspiring business tycoon and suspected mob kingpen Leonardo Mancini replied. "Violence is bad for business." While we cannot prove Mancini's involvement in the mob, we can prove he is in fact involved in the meat industry.
In other news, rumors that a prostitution ring in Dyker Heights has arisen are making residents uneasy. Trafficking is an especially heinous form of business, but unfortunately, a highly profitable one. The ring is supposedly in the unofficial territory of Mancini, according to residents of the area. Nothing can be linked back to the businessman, however.
Section submitted by Millicent Caigle, Economist
I am Millie Caigle. I'm sure they say in this article that I am an economist, but truthfully I am just fascinated by business. Ever since 1957, I've been studying how and why strays integrate trade into their everyday lives. In my articles, we will explore the top earning industries in the world of strays, and who's who in the world of local business.
The meat business, of course, is the leading form of trade, especially in the form of underground smuggling. Mobsters are the number one source of entrepreneurs capitalizing on meat supply and demand. Competition is rough, and some clashes between ganglords may in fact have led to bloodshed. When asked about this, aspiring business tycoon and suspected mob kingpen Leonardo Mancini replied. "Violence is bad for business." While we cannot prove Mancini's involvement in the mob, we can prove he is in fact involved in the meat industry.
In other news, rumors that a prostitution ring in Dyker Heights has arisen are making residents uneasy. Trafficking is an especially heinous form of business, but unfortunately, a highly profitable one. The ring is supposedly in the unofficial territory of Mancini, according to residents of the area. Nothing can be linked back to the businessman, however.