Post by Leonardo on Feb 1, 2014 16:09:58 GMT -6
The Chronicle
Est. 1965
January 28st, 1966
The ambition of our small neighborhood has more than doubled as big changes are being being made. Everywhere from new construction projects and layouts to shocking quotes and even marriages, The Chronicle has it all. Enjoy these week's issue.
Crime and Prejudice
Section provided by Charles "Chip" Caesar, Sr. Head Writer
Every encounter I make with the world of crime, I feel so very close. Like I could just...reach out my paw, just a touch. One touch and I'd be drawn in. A life of luxury for the exchange of my soul. It would be so easy to offer so very little in exchange for so very much. Often it's hard to be strong. One could see that when shown the faces of the others that were too weak to stay away. It would take a trained eye, however. Many of our neighbors who have fallen to this lifestyle have found a way to preserve false dignity.
A few days ago I attended a mild press conference, organized by Leonardo Mancini, local businessman, and the community making up his industrial empire. It was a splendid event, complete with some refreshments and just enough space to fit everyone in comfortably. It was an invite only meeting, but I've been given a pass to most of those sorts of things, so I took Millicent Caigle with me to witness it all. The meeting was a presentation of his newest project, The Crown Jules Club/Casino. It was named after his new wife, Juliet Ryder Mancini. Now, how a man could name such a center of vice after his own wife, I cannot fathom--although, this may be a practice of embellishment. A fools gold concept. Anyway, while I'll not go into the details of the establishment, I will speak of the questions asked at the event.
Most of the people there wanted to know what was going towards the project, and how their investments would be spent. Many had no plans to oppose it, and that didn't surprise me. Also, no one seemed to be addressing the question of possible violence being used as a means to get this thing going, and supporting it whenever it does get rolling. Mancini had a seemingly respectable young man present as a gambling consultant, by the name of Alonzo Capaldi. I could tell this was his first conference but he was answering the debatably useless questions like a pro. However, I wanted to know his stand on violence. I had confirmed evidence that he participated in two brutal fights, one of which may or may not have resulted in the death of one or more patrons. Dino Zaza, local nuisance, and one or more of his men got on the bad side of Vincent De Luca and Capaldi. Both of which were found dead after the fight. While Capaldi offered no explanation to the unidentified dog's death, he explained he didn't know Dino was dead, but not after calling him "scum". He denies that he goes out looking for this kind of trouble. He claims that he and De Luca were "Keeping the peace". Now, I understand what position this man is in. If in fact he was in a tight situation, he could not expose the organization. Yet he did not seem nervous or bullied at all. He even went on to praise Mr. Mancini slightly, claiming he was the reason he was here. Like he had given Mr. Capaldi a golden opportunity. While I cannot be convinced of his innocence, I can appreciate him entertaining the questions I asked, because it strengthens my newest theory.
Many of our neighbors who have fallen to this lifestyle have found a way to preserve false dignity.
A few days ago I attended a mild press conference, organized by Leonardo Mancini, local businessman, and the community making up his industrial empire. It was a splendid event, complete with some refreshments and just enough space to fit everyone in comfortably. It was an invite only meeting, but I've been given a pass to most of those sorts of things, so I took Millicent Caigle with me to witness it all. The meeting was a presentation of his newest project, The Crown Jules Club/Casino. It was named after his new wife, Juliet Ryder Mancini. Now, how a man could name such a center of vice after his own wife, I cannot fathom--although, this may be a practice of embellishment. A fools gold concept. Anyway, while I'll not go into the details of the establishment, I will speak of the questions asked at the event.
Most of the people there wanted to know what was going towards the project, and how their investments would be spent. Many had no plans to oppose it, and that didn't surprise me. Also, no one seemed to be addressing the question of possible violence being used as a means to get this thing going, and supporting it whenever it does get rolling. Mancini had a seemingly respectable young man present as a gambling consultant, by the name of Alonzo Capaldi. I could tell this was his first conference but he was answering the debatably useless questions like a pro. However, I wanted to know his stand on violence. I had confirmed evidence that he participated in two brutal fights, one of which may or may not have resulted in the death of one or more patrons. Dino Zaza, local nuisance, and one or more of his men got on the bad side of Vincent De Luca and Capaldi. Both of which were found dead after the fight. While Capaldi offered no explanation to the unidentified dog's death, he explained he didn't know Dino was dead, but not after calling him "scum". He denies that he goes out looking for this kind of trouble. He claims that he and De Luca were "Keeping the peace". Now, I understand what position this man is in. If in fact he was in a tight situation, he could not expose the organization. Yet he did not seem nervous or bullied at all. He even went on to praise Mr. Mancini slightly, claiming he was the reason he was here. Like he had given Mr. Capaldi a golden opportunity. While I cannot be convinced of his innocence, I can appreciate him entertaining the questions I asked, because it strengthens my newest theory.
Many of our neighbors who have fallen to this lifestyle have found a way to preserve false dignity.
Brooklyn Tails
Section submitted by Shep Diggs
Section submitted by Shep Diggs
First of all I'd like to say congratulations to Leonardo Mancini and Juliet Ryder for tying the knot. You guys make a great couple. Also thank you. I made a bet with a few of my friends that Mr. Leo would get a honey that was young enough to be his daughter, and I was right.
Anyway, I've got some pretty big news (other than the wedding) that will knock your socks off, and if you're like me and don't wear socks....then it might just ruffle your fur a little. Everyone's new favorite mob boss is the mysterious Crowley, British bulldog and business guru from the local area of Church and Wallace. However how did this guy climb to power? I mean who did he get to carry him? How in fact does a smaller dog figuratively hold entire sections of neighborhood by the balls? Hell if I knew. So I went and asked him. Did a little recon. I mean hey, I had an idea all right. A few asses may have been bitten. Maybe some intimidation. So when I gave him the golden question, I gotta suprise. Does Crowley SUPPORT the use of violence to spread business??
I quote:
"...I don't appreciate people who double cross me. Like children, they need to be taught a lesson. If that means roughing them up a bit..." (At this point, Crowley shrugged, indicating he didn't mind this).
Whoa whoa whoa I mean come on right? I can't be the only one shatting bricks. Could that be a murder confession? Maybe not, but that's at least damning evidence that this guy is now officially dangerous as hell. Screw the hot dogs man. If I couldn't ever pay this guy for something or I got on his bad side, I could be a goner! Show of hands, who wants to be in Crowley's school of commerce? Not I. I doubt teaching a lesson always ends in the occasional "roughing up". If things get extreme, whose there to stop these kinds of people? I'm being really serious here. I'm scared out of my mind. I go for a hotdog, I gotta pay a fine right? Like half it up? What if I forget! I'd be in debt. What if I get hurt and can't repay the debt?
THEN THOU ART SCREWED SHEPARD.
Hell this guy even works with the friendly neighborhood murderer Tony Valentine. Went on to talk about how he was such a stand up guy and all. Yeah I'm pretty sure you guys have all kinds of conversations while passing the whackstick like it's some kind of blunt. Killer conversations.
I quote:
"I think this city would be a very dull place without violence, don't you agree? Everyone loves a good crime drama..." (NOT IN REAL LIFE DUDE). "...And really, do I look like the type of guy to get my paws dirty?" (No because you're barely a foot tall and you've got a block of minions working a joint as we speak). "Look...I'm not bending the knee to make everyone seem like I'm this friendly, approachable person (works for Mancini and he's a millionaire dude)....I'm not gonna smile and pretend to be your mate (Wait....so, we aren't friends?) I'm the most buggered son in all of Bensonhurst and I know it. (...buggered?)"
Anyway I think I've rambled on enough for this column and I've definitely given you enough to think about. Hopefully you think about it. You should. Perhaps you'll have a bowel movement like I did and consider leaving the damn borough. Or, maybe you're cool with it, in which case you may have found a job opportunity in this article. You sick bastard you. Anyway, those or the facts. Use them to come up with your own theory.
Anyway, I've got some pretty big news (other than the wedding) that will knock your socks off, and if you're like me and don't wear socks....then it might just ruffle your fur a little. Everyone's new favorite mob boss is the mysterious Crowley, British bulldog and business guru from the local area of Church and Wallace. However how did this guy climb to power? I mean who did he get to carry him? How in fact does a smaller dog figuratively hold entire sections of neighborhood by the balls? Hell if I knew. So I went and asked him. Did a little recon. I mean hey, I had an idea all right. A few asses may have been bitten. Maybe some intimidation. So when I gave him the golden question, I gotta suprise. Does Crowley SUPPORT the use of violence to spread business??
I quote:
"...I don't appreciate people who double cross me. Like children, they need to be taught a lesson. If that means roughing them up a bit..." (At this point, Crowley shrugged, indicating he didn't mind this).
Whoa whoa whoa I mean come on right? I can't be the only one shatting bricks. Could that be a murder confession? Maybe not, but that's at least damning evidence that this guy is now officially dangerous as hell. Screw the hot dogs man. If I couldn't ever pay this guy for something or I got on his bad side, I could be a goner! Show of hands, who wants to be in Crowley's school of commerce? Not I. I doubt teaching a lesson always ends in the occasional "roughing up". If things get extreme, whose there to stop these kinds of people? I'm being really serious here. I'm scared out of my mind. I go for a hotdog, I gotta pay a fine right? Like half it up? What if I forget! I'd be in debt. What if I get hurt and can't repay the debt?
THEN THOU ART SCREWED SHEPARD.
Hell this guy even works with the friendly neighborhood murderer Tony Valentine. Went on to talk about how he was such a stand up guy and all. Yeah I'm pretty sure you guys have all kinds of conversations while passing the whackstick like it's some kind of blunt. Killer conversations.
I quote:
"I think this city would be a very dull place without violence, don't you agree? Everyone loves a good crime drama..." (NOT IN REAL LIFE DUDE). "...And really, do I look like the type of guy to get my paws dirty?" (No because you're barely a foot tall and you've got a block of minions working a joint as we speak). "Look...I'm not bending the knee to make everyone seem like I'm this friendly, approachable person (works for Mancini and he's a millionaire dude)....I'm not gonna smile and pretend to be your mate (Wait....so, we aren't friends?) I'm the most buggered son in all of Bensonhurst and I know it. (...buggered?)"
Anyway I think I've rambled on enough for this column and I've definitely given you enough to think about. Hopefully you think about it. You should. Perhaps you'll have a bowel movement like I did and consider leaving the damn borough. Or, maybe you're cool with it, in which case you may have found a job opportunity in this article. You sick bastard you. Anyway, those or the facts. Use them to come up with your own theory.
Doing Your Business
Section submitted by Millicent Caigle, Economist
The System, long now considered a part of town reserved for cutthroats and degenerates, has been tamed by The Crowley company and is now turning the entrepreneur a small but respectable profit. There also seem to be many more supporters of his operation and people may be reaching out to him to do some official business instead of under the table commerce. Look out rivals! This guy is going far!
In other news, the Mancini Corporation & Associates are beginning a full fledged project on a brand new Casino! The Crown Jules Casino and Club, named after Mancini's newlywed wife, is a five part entertainment center for the lucky adult. According to the plans which were so generously shared with me, operations will be overseen and run by Mancini's handsome and charming associate Alonzo Capaldi, a gambling expert and consultant. The place will have a restaurant, a race track (for remote purposes) a fight arena, poker room, and maybe even a small motel! How exciting. It will be interesting to see what kind of success this place will be, or if it will flop from the start. It will require the cooperation of all of Mancini's business associates in order for it to be properly funded and supported, as there are no places in the immediate area that carry the quality food that he plans to serve. Organization and plans are underway as we speak! Good luck Mancini!
Section submitted by Millicent Caigle, Economist
The System, long now considered a part of town reserved for cutthroats and degenerates, has been tamed by The Crowley company and is now turning the entrepreneur a small but respectable profit. There also seem to be many more supporters of his operation and people may be reaching out to him to do some official business instead of under the table commerce. Look out rivals! This guy is going far!
In other news, the Mancini Corporation & Associates are beginning a full fledged project on a brand new Casino! The Crown Jules Casino and Club, named after Mancini's newlywed wife, is a five part entertainment center for the lucky adult. According to the plans which were so generously shared with me, operations will be overseen and run by Mancini's handsome and charming associate Alonzo Capaldi, a gambling expert and consultant. The place will have a restaurant, a race track (for remote purposes) a fight arena, poker room, and maybe even a small motel! How exciting. It will be interesting to see what kind of success this place will be, or if it will flop from the start. It will require the cooperation of all of Mancini's business associates in order for it to be properly funded and supported, as there are no places in the immediate area that carry the quality food that he plans to serve. Organization and plans are underway as we speak! Good luck Mancini!
